[insert witty title here]

Hi, I'm Danger Guerrero. I do not understand tumblr.

Today I Learned…

I was just reading this article on The Stranger about Munchausen syndrome by Internet (the thing where people fake having a serious illness online — either on their own personal blog or, even worse, in support forums for people who are actually suffering from a particular disease), when I came across this passage about a woman who had been duped by the fakers:

Over the course of the next year, Valerie would bluntly document her daily ups and downs: How she named her breasts and the cancerous lymph node she would ultimately have chopped off; her ceremonious Viking boob funeral, where she lit boob-shaped candles and set them adrift in Lake Washington as guests snacked on boob-adorned cupcakes; the shaving of her beautiful red hair for Locks of Love (“I couldn’t bear to watch it fall out”); her body’s refusal to heal after her first radical mastectomy; how cat purrs help heal a mutinous body; the triumph of revealing her scarred, altered chest on Tumblr for its infamous “Topless Tuesday” shots.

Hold on. I have been on Tumblr for well over a year now — mainly following comedians, amateur funny people, or entertainment industry news sites that I use to find stories for my writing gigs — and prior to the last few words in that paragraph I had literally zero clue that Topless Tuesday was a thing. So, because I am very good at research and first-hand confirmation is important, I searched through the Topless Tuesday tag for a few minutes. Sure enough, it is littered with pictures that people, men and women alike, have posted of themselves in various stages of undress. Oh, and dozens and dozens of bros asking for topless “submissions” from girls, because bros on the Internet are predictable and hilarious.

Here’s the point I’m rambling in the general direction of: What in the hell? People, many of whom presumably have — or would one day like to have — jobs, are posting naked pictures of themselves on the Internet, for free? I mean, I guess I can understand doing something like that if you’re broke and someone’s offering to pay your rent. And if doing it helps you cope with a serious illness like the woman in the blockquote, you sure as hell don’t need my permission. But doing it gratis because Topless and Tuesday both start with the same letter? I don’t get it, man. But then again I use a fake name online because I’m terrified of future employers finding out that I like to say mean things about Snooki sometimes, so I guess that’s not a huge shock coming from me.

Anyway, hi, I am the oldest and most naive person on the Internet.

  1. alex-lately said: Topless Tuesday was a pretty big thing in ‘09/’10 when I first started Tumblr. It’s still an anomaly to me. Also, hi. Hate that you’re not following my mediocre antics since I’m obv so funny (read: not funny) on twitter.
  2. dangerguerrero posted this