Anonymous asked: I'm sober but I need (want) to know when is it acceptable to eat a hot dog plain?
I’m not exactly sure when people started acting like hot dog consumption was a life and death situation, but it seems incredibly silly to me. Hot dogs are a bunch of garbage meat stuffed inside fake intestines. They are delicious, obviously, but they’re not exactly fine dining. Point being: Put whatever the hell you want on your hot dog — mustard, relish, ketchup, nothing, chili, a second hot dog, whatever — and tell anyone who gives you a hard time about it to go take a flying leap into Foodie Lake.
Unless of course this some sort of euphemism for sex, in which case you (or your partner) should wear a condom or practice some other form of safe sex. It’s 2013.