[insert witty title here]

Hi, I'm Danger Guerrero. I do not understand tumblr.
irememberasong:

This is one of the most beautiful images I have ever seen.
Comedy Bang Bang meets Phantom of the Opera?
I didn’t know I wanted this.

Super very excited about this.

irememberasong:

This is one of the most beautiful images I have ever seen.

Comedy Bang Bang meets Phantom of the Opera?

I didn’t know I wanted this.

Super very excited about this.

(via popculturebrain)

Break, Enter, Explore

Just finished this GQ article from March about urban exploring. Really fun read.

When we came out dripping from the underworld, a double-decker bus rolled past, but the driver paid no attention to our extremely conspicuous group emerging from a manhole at 2 a.m. We circled around the city again, Garrett restless, looking for something. He spied a ten-story construction site surrounded by chain-link and scaffolding. There was a small gap in the fence, just big enough to slip through. Garrett hauled himself effortlessly through to the scaffold. Wary of security guards and CCTV cameras, I followed as silently and elegantly as a bear clambering into a Dumpster. We made our way up an internal stairwell to the roof and onto the ladder of a massive construction crane. Finally we were sitting right next to the control cabin 150 feet up, feet dangled over the void, London glittering to the horizon. Garrett pointed out landmarks, famous and less so: Big Ben, the Eye, the Shard, St. Paul’s Cathedral, the Gherkin, the Walkie-Talkie, King’s Reach Tower. The names sounded like constellations or rock-climbing routes. In fact, he had summited most of them.

So if you need to kill some time before kickoff today, there you go.

Anonymous asked: Given your pseudonym and all the great work that has been done under it (i.e. breakdowns of music videos, Franklin and Bash, SBTB, 90s movies), how will you explain what you've been doing for the past few years to potential employers? This is assuming you don't have a "real" job and are 100% earning a living as DG. Please provide a narrative of the real you and a potential employer reviewing the last few years of your life in an interview.

Potential Employer: So, I notice a hole in your resume for a few years after you finished law school…

Me: Yes. I was in a coma.

END SCENE

Anonymous asked: Im in chile and there's a drink here where you take bad beer, put lemon and spicy pepper flakes, and salt and more spicy pepper flakes on the rim. Its great!

Shoutout to resourceful Chilean bartenders.

Anonymous asked: Quick Question: There is a gold heart-shaped keychain with "Miss New Booty" hand-stamped on it. This is a good wedding gift, yes?

Ummmm, I think you mean MRS. New Booty.

FYI: Air Bud’s children, who can talk and have been to space, have super powers now.

Proceed accordingly.

We few. We happy few.

yourmandevine:

My friend Katie sent me this tonight:

Yes, I definitely do. That’s because on the afternoon of Aug. 26, 2011, I was starting to hear from family members and friends that they wouldn’t be coming to my wedding.

There was only so much we could do when it became clear that Hurricane Irene was a really, really big deal, and that it would be sweeping up the East Coast and into the New York/New Jersey area on the 27th — which was, of course, the day toward which we’d worked and planned for the better part of the previous year. Everything was booked, the contracts set, the non-refundable deposits shelled out. Our immediate families had already started making their way to N.Y. for the rehearsal dinner. The venue was going to stay open barring an evacuation call by local authorities; the officiant and caterers were still in, too.

We knew for sure that our wedding was going to happen, but we also knew that it was going to be a very different day than the one we’d planned. The only question, then, was how many of the 150 or so* RSVP-ed guests would actually wind up making it**.

Read More

Yup. You go read.

Eh, Close Enough

From this article about panther sightings in Florida:

As of August 2013, the public had submitted 790 sightings to MyFWC.com/PantherSightings, where people can record when and where they saw a panther or its tracks, FWC said.

“Only 12 percent of the reports included a photograph and could be evaluated by Commission biologists. Of those with photos, the majority were confirmed as panthers. Other animals identified by FWC biologists were bobcats, foxes, coyotes, dogs, house cats and even a monkey. Most often the reported animal or tracks belonged to a bobcat, when it was not a panther.”

Shoutout to the Florida residents who submitted pictures of house cats to a website dedicated to panther sightings. Can’t be too careful, that’s what I always say.

This video derailed my entire day.

via

Here’s Why I Think DMX Should Start A Restaurant…

image

[NOTE: For full effect, please picture this as a very cheaply produced commercial for a restaurant called X’s Bar And Grill, featuring DMX holding a spatula and wearing a “Kiss the Cook” apron and Swedish Chef hat]

Yeah, don’t get it twisted
This grill shit is mine, motherfucker
It’s NOT. A. FUCKING. GAME.
Fuck what you cooked
It’s what I’m grillin’
It’s what I’m grillin’ (Listen)
It’s what I’m grillin’ (Listen)
It’s what I’m grillin’ (Listen)

X gon grill it for ya
Fuck waitin’ for you to cook it on your own
X gon deliver to ya
Knock knock, open up the door, it’s real
With some burgers, hot dogs, and hearty meals
Your mom say she cook legit
But I make such a good steak
I’ll make a motherfucker wonder how I did it

Damn right and I’ll do it again
Next try a thigh of my Cajun chick-en
Flatbreads with your friends and me
And no matter how many cats you break bread with
I’ll feed who you sendin’ me

You motherfuckers still wantin’ something?
Like your wife said, y’all can pack it away
Stay sittin’ down (DOWN)
Cuz X got what you need
Rollin’ out the kitchen with some tasty treats (WOO!)
Please, if you haven’t sampled all my fresh-baked pie and cake
Come out today

Motherfucker