Anonymous asked: FYI: Asian giant hornets can exceed 2 inches in length.
Well fuck that.
Well fuck that.
A recap and discussion about last night’s episode of “Scandal,” titled “It’s Handled.”
Hello. I am recapping Scandal for UPROXX this season. I love this stupid-ass show.
GQ’s Wells Tower wrote one of my favorites pieces of the year back in February, and now he’s back with another longform masterpiece. Remember the story about the Prince superfan slash Elvis impersonator who was accused of mailing a ricin-covered letter to the president, only to be cleared when authorities figured out he was framed by a Tae Kwon Do instructor slash Mensa member? I don’t see how you could forget. Anyway, Tower gets the whole, nutty story, and in the process introduces us to a mutual enemy the two have: a cuss-loving funeral home director slash state representative — everyone in this story is at least two things, apparently — named Steve Holland.
Not long after Dutschke and Curtis’s unfriendly introduction in 2006, Dutschke mounted a campaign for state House district sixteen, against long-term Democratic incumbent Steve Holland. By all accounts, Dutschke’s PR strategy was little more than a public display of bitter, empty vitriol—its rhetoric revolving around comparisons of Steve Holland to Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard and suggestions that the 9/11 hijackers were Holland’s friends. Why Dutschke loathed Steve Holland so hotly is not clear.
“I had never stood eyeball to eyeball or dick to dick with the man, but for some reason he just hated the hell out of me,” says Holland, a gloriously profane and paradoxically genteel man of 58. “He called me everything from gay to communist. Everything but a child of God. I mean, he had no campaign or agenda except to cut my nuts out…. But you got to get your ass up early and go to bed late to beat my ass. I’ve held this seat for thirty years. I can absolutely make love to a bull moose on the steps of the Lee County courthouse and garner more than 5 percent of the vote.”
Bryan Cranston and Dean Norris both played major roles in the pilot episode of Pamela Anderson’s cheesy bodyguard series, “V.I.P.”
I did some important investigative journalism today.
For absolutely no good reason, here’s the final scene of last night’s “Breaking Bad” finale set to “Tha Crossroads” by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.
Here’s what I did with my morning.
A conversation on iChat, beginning at 11:52 AM on September 24, 2013:
a weird thing happened on the internet today and i was thinking it’d be fun to try and explain it to you and publish our conversation
would you be willing to participate?
You. Read. Now.
This clip of Eddie Murphy and Dick Cavett together on Letterman’s old NBC show is terrific.
Please especially note the 5:35 mark, when Letterman interrupts Cavett’s story about hanging out with Murphy for clarification on a term, at which point Cavett dryly replies “Oh, you don’t know negro talk?” and Murphy begins WAILING with laughter.
Anyway, I am now fascinated by the Murphy/Cavett friendship.
You could do a hell of a lot worse than “Always eat the bigger slice of pizza first” as your guiding philosophy in life. It’s like “seize the day,” but with pizza. Carpe pizza, if you will.