[insert witty title here]

Hi, I'm Danger Guerrero. I do not understand tumblr.
True Detective (Artist’s Rendering)

True Detective (Artist’s Rendering)

Anonymous asked: Dear god, I randomly started googling facts about the music video for "Hero" cause OBVIOUSLY. 1. I would totally see that movie. 2. I don't even know you but I wish we could both turn gay and gay marry each other.* *I don't know actually, maybe you are gay, which is cool and totally awesome but I'm not, so that doesn't work, but hope you still appreciate my level of commitment? What I think I'm trying to say is, I love you man.

Thank you. You are very sweet.

(For reference: Music Video Breakdown: ‘Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias)

A Little AM Reading

I feel like the New Yorker’s 2008 longread on hangovers may be appropriate today. An excerpt:

As for hangover remedies, they are legion. There are certain unifying themes, however. When you ask people, worldwide, how to deal with a hangover, their first answer is usually the hair of the dog. The old faithful in this category is the Bloody Mary, but books on curing hangovers—I have read three, and that does not exhaust the list—describe more elaborate potions, often said to have been invented in places like Cap d’Antibes by bartenders with names like Jean-Marc. An English manual, Andrew Irving’s “How to Cure a Hangover” (2004), devotes almost a hundred pages to hair-of-the-dog recipes, including the Suffering Bastard (gin, brandy, lime juice, bitters, and ginger ale); the Corpse Reviver (Pernod, champagne, and lemon juice); and the Thomas Abercrombie (two Alka-Seltzers dropped into a double shot of tequila). Kingsley Amis suggests taking Underberg bitters, a highly alcoholic digestive: “The resulting mild convulsions and cries of shock are well worth witnessing. But thereafter a comforting glow supervenes.” Many people, however, simply drink some more of what they had the night before. My Ukrainian informant described his morning-after protocol for a vodka hangover as follows: “two shots of vodka, then a cigarette, then another shot of vodka.” A Japanese source suggested wearing a sake-soaked surgical mask.

Shoutout to Thomas Abercrombie.

aklingus asked: Rob Ford riding a jetski while eating an entire box of Popeyes chicken

:

Done. I added a small family that he’s about to run over. Felt it made it feel more realistic.

Yes, this is going to be fun.

Anonymous asked: Remember when you used to post funny stuff on here... (audience) "ooooooooooo"

Here’s a joke…

Two guys walk into a bar. One leaves in tears because I AM TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN, OKAY?

brain-confetti:

DANGER! YOUR HEADLINE HAS A THOUSANDY NOTES!

HEY! THAT’S ME!
(p.s. Big thanks to whoever screencapped the post without linking to it. Definitely couldn’t have used the traffic from 15,000 notes. Nope. Not at all. Don’t even know why I’m mentioning it, really.)

brain-confetti:

DANGER! YOUR HEADLINE HAS A THOUSANDY NOTES!

HEY! THAT’S ME!

(p.s. Big thanks to whoever screencapped the post without linking to it. Definitely couldn’t have used the traffic from 15,000 notes. Nope. Not at all. Don’t even know why I’m mentioning it, really.)

(Source: thecuriousmuffin)

Earlier today, for reasons that I don’t have to explain to any of you, I was looking for the clip from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey where Ted possesses his dad and the “possessed” actor proceeds to do a hilarious Keanu Reeves impression that begins with “Whoa. Okay, dudes… Oh, I mean, fellow policemen.” Not only did I find it, but upon closer examination, it appears that I was the who uploaded it almost three and a half years ago.

I have zero recollection of doing this. I don’t know if I should be concerned or proud. Probably both.

Me and Val Kilmer discussing the arts.

A Quick Note About That One Toyota Commercial

image

Here’s what I want you to do…

The next time you see that one Toyota commercial, imagine being the person who lives in this apartment, and waking up late on a Saturday morning to find this scene — a car parked diagonally across the middle of the intersection; a large, ethnically diverse crowd of young people in brightly colored clothing doing a choreographed dance routine around it in the street; loud laser music blasting through the air — taking place outside your window, with no idea why any of it is happening.

Anonymous asked: I saw a person wearing a yankees shirt and a 76ers hat today, just thought you should know

Was he a short-iish guy with a goatee? Because if he was, he’s the guy who lived in the apartment below me during college. I still owe hm $50. Don’t tell him you know me.

PERSON: What are you going as this Halloween?
OTHER PERSON: You know the giant furry monster portrayed by gravel-voiced male actor John Goodman in the children’s movie Monsters, Inc.?
PERSON: Yes.
OTHER PERSON: That, but sexy.

PERSON: What are you going as this Halloween?

OTHER PERSON: You know the giant furry monster portrayed by gravel-voiced male actor John Goodman in the children’s movie Monsters, Inc.?

PERSON: Yes.

OTHER PERSON: That, but sexy.